Luckily the person who brought this little f aux pas to my attention was my partner so part of me is like yep, he is right gosh darn it and the other is like-well if he is noticing who else might be thinking the same thing???
So last night after he lovingly mentioned it to me for the second time in two months I decided I was going to do something about it and I put it at the very top of my list of things to do today.
So I ate breakfast, paid some bills, made some phone calls, and answered emails while that nagging little voice reminded me of what I said that I was going to do and if I was doing it. Still not ready to deal with that task (Which for some reason seemed monumental) I pushed the voice away and decided to get on FB instead-once again bargaining with myself by saying hey if I am on FB that is a step in the right direction right? I mean after all we are still taking social media here; a phrase that everyday I am becoming more familiar with as my tried and true self-help, motivation and inspirational books have been replaced with taking people with you and going social. I do love me a good challenge though and anything techno is by far the biggest brain teaser there is out there for me.
After spending about 30 mintutes or so on Facebook I decided to work on my blog. I could feel myself resisting, freezing up, I walked out to the kitchen-tempted to get some kind of sugary snack to satisfy the anxiousness, I looked out the window with the rain heavily pouring down reminding me that I would not be missing out on mother nature much if I stay indoors. And then it hit me-I remembered the words that I woke up to that morning as I was going through the list of what I had to do "START WHERE YOU ARE". I let the words echo through me as I walked back into my office inspired, hopeful and ready to do what I said I was going to do.. "START WHERE YOU ARE" I kept hearing over and over again-not when everything is perfect or in a pretty box with a bow on it for every one to love.
I thought back to other times where I had difficulty beginning things (that felt so monumental) areas like eating right, speaking in public, creating transformational tools, running a Sunday school, and the list went on and on. Then I realized when I went into the kitchen to grab a sugary snack-I paused and went for a handful of shredded wheat and some water. As far as speaking in public, I have stood in front of the mayor and many other politicians and did a small piece for Martin Luther King Day; After three years or so of friends, family, clients and students telling me I have to make a meditation cd* I finally finished it late last month. and lastly, I went from 3 kids in my Sunday school three years ago to close to 30 as of last Sunday all on a wing and a prayer, and some times just winging it and going with the flow and I could go on and on about things that I was afraid to do and then just did it.
When you START WHERE YOU ARE" everything else just falls into place. The idea of starting where YOU are is much more comforting and rewarding when YOU get there because YOU want to and not because some one else or every one else wants you to. It is on your watch, your time and your energy-no need to feel guilty here.
When you "START WHERE YOU ARE" you are one with what ever it is you want to do, the resisting that stops us comes from what we think is going to happen usually based on a preconceived notion on what has happened in the past which keeps us from being present with what is now. I know that is a mouthful but simply put it means not being present with what is and how you feel. I had no intention of writing a blog about not writing a blog-but that is exactly where I was at and it was current and real for me. I was not going to hold all the icky, sticky, fear based stuff from you so that I could candy coat it and place it in a pretty little box with a ribbon because LIFE is not like that either. STARTING WHERE YOU ARE means that we have to get a little dirty, we have to let our wounds show, we have to be willing to look the ugly truth in the face and see it's beauty and what it can teach us.
As I put the finishing touches upon my blog post of STARTING WHERE YOU ARE I can't help but think of some other things that are going to go on my to do list -I may write them down a little begrudgingly on the bottom of the list now but they will eventually make their way to the top of the list where I will be ready to make the next move on my terms, on my watch and in my own way.
*If you would like to listen to the first track on the meditation CD called a grounding exercise you may do so here. You can also purchase the CD for $12.00 plus $2.00 for shipping and handling and I will get it out to you as soon as possible.*
I hope that you find this blog post and meditation helpful. I welcome any comments, questions and or feedback and especially look forward to hearing your success stories of STARTING WHERE YOU ARE.
Warmly,
Renee Guidelli
Renee Guidelli is a life coach, motivational speaker and the founder of Heart Centered Living where she offers services, products and events that inspire, balance and empower the heart. She has been working with individuals and groups of people for over 15 years helping them make positive changes in their lives. If you are interested in a free consultation to see how she can help you email her at reneeguidelli@frontiernet.net. For more information check out www.lifecoachrenee.com
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